The Best Couples Counselling Exercises To Strengthen Your Relationship

When couples think about counselling, it can sometimes feel intimidating. But in reality, couples counselling is a practical tool that helps partners navigate challenges, improve communication, and strengthen their emotional connection. At Calming The Circle Therapy in Mooloolaba, we often share simple but effective exercises that can make a big difference in how couples relate to each other, both in and outside the therapy room.

Below are some of the best couples therapy exercises, based on evidence-based methods like the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and Internal Family Systems (IFS), which we use in our sessions across the Sunshine Coast.

1. Reflective Listening

One of the most powerful ways to strengthen your relationship is to improve how you listen. Reflective listening helps couples slow down conversations and make space for empathy.

How to try it at home:

• Use “I” statements instead of “You” statements.

• Example: “I feel hurt when I don’t feel included in decisions,” rather than, “You never think of me.”This shift reduces blame and makes your partner more likely to hear your feelings without becoming defensive.

  
  

2. The Gottman “Love Maps” Exercise

The Gottman Method highlights the importance of knowing each other’s inner world — values, dreams, and daily stresses. Building your “love map” helps you stay connected, even during busy or stressful seasons.

How to try it at home:

• Set aside 10–15 minutes a few times per week.

• Ask open-ended questions such as: “What’s been the best part of your day?” or “What’s something you’re worried about right now?”This builds empathy and understanding, which form the foundation of long-term connection.

3. Emotionally Focused Therapy: Naming the Feelings

Couples often get stuck in repeating arguments without realising the deeper emotions underneath. EFT encourages couples to identify and share these vulnerable feelings, instead of just focusing on the surface conflict.

How to try it at home:

• When tension arises, pause and name the emotion underneath (e.g., “I feel anxious when plans change suddenly”).

• Share the vulnerable feeling, not just the frustration.

This opens the door to compassion and helps you both feel emotionally safer.

4. Narrative Reframing

Narrative therapy allows couples to step back and look at their relationship as a story that can be rewritten. This perspective helps partners break free from negative cycles and see opportunities for change.

How to try it at home:

• Write down one repeating conflict or issue.

• Together, explore other “chapters” of your relationship where you worked as a team.

• Reframe the problem as one challenge in the bigger picture, not the whole story.

  
  

5. Solution-Focused Check-Ins

Sometimes, couples can feel stuck in the past. Solution-Focused Therapy helps shift the focus from problems to practical solutions and shared goals.

How to try it at home:

• Ask each other: “What’s one small thing we could do differently this week to make life easier?”

• Commit to trying that action for seven days, then review together.

Small steps build momentum and help couples rediscover teamwork.

Why These Exercises Work

At Calming The Circle Therapy, we use these tools alongside professional support to help couples:

• Improve communication and reduce conflict

• Rebuild trust after infidelity or betrayal

• Navigate parenting stress, financial tension, and life transitions

• Rekindle intimacy and emotional closeness

• Create shared values and relationship goals

Counselling is not just for couples in crisis. Many partners use therapy proactively to keep their relationship strong and prevent small issues from growing into bigger ones.

Book Couples Counselling on the Sunshine Coast

Calming The Circle Therapy offers marriage counselling and relationship therapy for couples across the Sunshine Coast, including Maroochydore, Buderim, Caloundra, Noosa, and surrounding suburbs. We also provide online couples counselling Australia-wide for those who prefer the convenience of therapy at home.

Take the first step today. Book a confidential session and learn practical tools to strengthen your relationship.